can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
