You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
