She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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