It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
