Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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