My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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