He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
