Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
