she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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