Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize