It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
