I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
