yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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