I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
