Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
