never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
be right there i have to get my cape
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
