I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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