what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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