i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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