Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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