but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
