I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
