my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This house was built for laser tag.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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