Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize