I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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