go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
