I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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