I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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