You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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