i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we should paint friendship bongs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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