I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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