But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
