can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
