I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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