true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
