Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
