Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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