I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Watching her eat just hurts me
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
