I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize