I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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