I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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