I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
