garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
