After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
