It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
