do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
