my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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