Barsexuality is the new black.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My life is pants optional.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
