i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
