it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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