hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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