I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
