if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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