so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
