The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
