I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
